Zodiac Profile: Virgo—The Perfectionist in Overdrive
Immortal Gazette Exclusive: Yes, They Are Judging You
Alice sipped her tea with a smirk. “Ah, Virgo. The one who’s always analyzing everything around them. Nothing escapes their gaze. They’re like the world’s most judgmental therapist, except they don’t want to help—they just want to criticize... for your own good, of course.”
Loki raised a hand, giving Alice a look of mock disbelief. “Don’t lie, Alice. You like Virgos. I see the way you swoon when one of them organizes your little tea parties. They bring order to the chaos. That’s what you love about them.”
Alice narrowed her eyes. “I do not swoon.” She then paused. “Okay, maybe I do. A little. But don’t get it twisted. Virgos are so uptight, they’ll probably judge my tea set’s alignment before they’ll drink from it.”
Rumple chuckled darkly. “Oh, don’t even try to deny it. Virgos thrive on order, structure, and details. They’re like the ultimate perfectionists—so much so, that they’ll organize their own flaws into neat little categories.”
Alice tapped her teacup, leaning back with a wicked grin. “True. And if you happen to be an utter mess around them, well, prepare for the side-eye that says ‘I’m too polite to say anything, but you’re a disaster’.”
Loki winked. “Oh, don’t forget about their intense need for logic. There’s no room for nonsense in a Virgo’s world. Which is why they’re perfectly suited to clean up after chaos. Like... say... us.”
Rumple raised an eyebrow. “Not that any of us mind it... but it’s always the Virgos who step in to ‘fix’ things, isn’t it? They’ll offer you solutions to your chaotic mess—whether you want them or not.”
Alice leaned in, eyes sparkling with mischief. “*They’re so organized, it’s frightening. Honestly, it’s like they have a checklist for life. And if you’re on their list of ‘things to improve,’ you’ll be there until you get it right. Nothing gets past them.”
Virgo Breakdown: The Judgmental, Perfection-Obsessed, Quietly Helpful Genius
- Element: Earth (Practical, grounded, and an absolute nightmare to argue with when it comes to facts.)
- Strengths: Detail-oriented, organized, intelligent, and utterly reliable. Virgos are the ones who’ll fix your broken magic potion and make sure it’s perfect—then remind you forever that it was their idea.
- Weaknesses: Overcritical, overly analytical, and unable to relax. They’ll judge you. They’ll judge themselves. They’ll judge the way your coffee cup is placed on the table. They can’t help it.
- Compatibility: Virgos get along best with partners who can handle their constant critiques without taking it personally (Taurus, Capricorn, Cancer). Virgos are also drawn to those who value logic and appreciate their practical approach to life (Pisces, Scorpio).
- Famous Virgo: Mother Teresa. Yes, that one. She literally fixed the world. In her own quiet, perfectionist way.
Loki chuckled, leaning back. “It’s not so much about them being the perfectionists, it’s about how much they expect everyone else to be perfect too. Which... well, makes life a bit complicated for us, doesn’t it?”
Rumple grinned. “I don’t mind it. Honestly, I love the idea of someone picking apart every detail of my life. It gives me something to play with.”
Alice grinned as she leaned in, speaking in a mock-whisper. “And the best part? If they’re not obsessing over you, they’re obsessing over themselves. The perfection they’re chasing... it’s never enough. It’ll drive them mad, in the most controlled way possible.”
Loki chuckled. “Yes, yes. Virgos. They might be organizing everything down to the dust particles, but they’ll never be truly happy until they achieve that perfect balance... which, spoiler alert: doesn’t exist.”
Alice gave a dramatic sigh. “Virgos. They fix the world—one detail at a time—and somehow, it’s never good enough. But we love them for it. We do.”
And that’s the Virgo breakdown from your favorite snarky immortals: a whole lot of judgment, a little help, and a whole lot of unrealistic expectations.
🖋️✨📜🖤
