Austerity: The Art of Making Everyone Miserable | The Immortal Gazette
Alice leaned back in her chair, flipping through a book labeled "How to Ruin an Economy in Three Easy Steps." Loki poured himself a glass of something expensive-looking, while Rumplestiltskin paced, muttering under his breath.
“So today,” Alice announced, “we’re talking about austerity—which, for those unfamiliar, is when a government decides to tighten its belt in a way that somehow only affects regular people and not the ones in charge.”
Rumple huffed. “It’s fiscal responsibility.”
Loki smirked. “If by ‘responsibility,’ you mean forcing the poor to pay for the mistakes of the rich, then sure.”
Alice snapped her fingers. “Exactly! And for all our dear readers who love a good historical example—let’s take a little time-traveling trip, shall we?”
Example One: The Great Depression & The Gold Standard Mess-Up
“In the 1930s,” Alice continued, “when the Great Depression was making everyone’s life miserable, some countries—like Britain and the U.S.—initially thought, ‘Hey, let’s cut spending and balance our budgets. That should fix things, right?’”
Rumple nodded. “Because you can’t just spend your way out of a crisis.”
Loki sipped his drink. “Actually, turns out you can—which is why Britain ditched austerity in the mid-1930s and the U.S. eventually went all-in on New Deal programs.”
Alice grinned. “That’s right! They realized cutting spending when no one has money is like refusing to use a life raft because you don’t want to get it wet.”
Example Two: Greece in the 2010s—The Ultimate Austerity Disaster
“And then,” Alice continued, “there’s Greece. After the 2008 financial crisis, the EU and the IMF told Greece, ‘Cut spending, raise taxes, and don’t even think about investing in anything.’”
Rumple crossed his arms. “They had to fix their debt.”
Loki shook his head. “Sure, but they ended up crashing their own economy further. Unemployment skyrocketed, businesses collapsed, and guess what? The debt problem didn’t even get better.”
Alice smirked. “Which is why even the IMF later admitted—‘Oops, maybe we overdid it.’”
The Verdict? Austerity Usually Hurts the Wrong People
Alice closed the book with a snap. “Now, to be fair, there are times when cutting wasteful spending makes sense. But the problem is—”
Loki grinned. “The people in charge never cut the right things.”
Rumple sighed. “Fine. I admit that slashing public services while keeping tax breaks for the ultra-rich is… not great.”
Alice raised a brow. “Rumple, that’s the understatement of the century.”
Loki smirked. “So, moral of the story?”
Alice grinned. “If someone tells you austerity will fix everything, check if they’re rich—because if they are, what they really mean is ‘you’ll be paying for my mistakes.’”
Rumple groaned. “You two are impossible.”
Loki lifted his glass. “Cheers to not making people poor for fun or greed.” 👊
Alice winked. “Now that’s a policy I can get behind.” 👊
🖋️✨📜🖤
