Mars: The God of War, Chaos, and Rome’s Favorite Murderous Mascot
Brought to you by the Immortal Gazette - where history meets divine dysfunction.
Alice, Loki, and Rumplestiltskin were once again gathered in their favorite shadowy corner of 4EverMore. Alice was twirling a dagger between her fingers, Loki leaned back lazily in his chair, and Rumple was - predictably - already scowling.
“So,” Alice began, a smirk creeping across her lips, “Mars. God of War. Rome’s golden boy. Their favorite divine murder machine.”
Loki raised an eyebrow. “Oh? Not just a war god?”
Alice snorted. “Not just any war god. See, unlike Ares - who was basically just a hotheaded disaster - Mars had strategy. He wasn’t about mindless slaughter; he was about winning.”
Rumple rolled his eyes. “I’m sure that makes the whole ‘massive bloodshed’ thing so much better.”
Alice shrugged. “Hey, Romans thought so. In fact - ” she leaned forward, voice dripping with mischief - “Mars wasn’t just their war god. He was their father.”
Fact #1: Mars Wasn’t Just a God - He Was Rome’s Founding Daddy
Loki chuckled. “Ah, yes. Romulus and Remus.”
Alice grinned. “Exactly. Rome’s legendary founders? They weren’t just abandoned wolf-kids - they were the sons of Mars. Because, you know, why not give your empire a divine warlord as an ancestor?”
Rumple sighed. “So let me guess: Rome wasn’t just built on strategy and governance, but also a whole lot of bloodshed?”
Alice clapped her hands. “Bingo! Mars wasn’t just a war god - he was Rome’s justification for conquest. ‘We have to go to war, it’s in our divine bloodline!’”
Loki smirked. “That’s… actually clever.”
Alice pointed her dagger at him. “Right? Mars wasn’t about chaos like Ares. He was about controlled destruction. Conquer, expand, rule. War wasn’t a last resort - it was the whole point.”
Fact #2: Mars Didn’t Just Fight - He Made Sure Rome Won
Rumple rubbed his temples. “So he wasn’t just wanton destruction, but… calculated, state-approved destruction?”
Alice twirled the dagger. “Exactly. The Romans didn’t just worship Mars; they trusted him. He was the god of victorious war. They prayed to him before battle, sacrificed to him, and even had an entire month named after him - March. Because what better way to start the year than with a glorious military campaign?”
Loki let out a low whistle. “So while other cultures saw war as a necessary evil, Rome saw it as a divine mission.”
Alice grinned. “And that, my dear Loki, is why Rome became Rome.”
Fact #3: Mars Wasn’t Just About Blood - He Was About Power
Rumple scoffed. “Fine. He wasn’t just a war-hungry brute. But surely he had some flaws.”
Alice raised a finger. “Ah, and here is where it gets interesting. Mars was also tied to agriculture.”
Loki blinked. “...I’m sorry, what?”
Alice smirked. “Think about it. War and farming both require discipline, order, and - most importantly - control over land. Rome wasn’t just fighting for the sake of fighting. They were fighting for dominion. Conquer the land, make it productive, rule it.”
Rumple sighed. “So he was a god of both war and prosperity?”
Alice clinked her dagger against her glass. “Exactly. Mars wasn’t about wasting war - he was about winning it, keeping it, and thriving because of it.”
Loki smirked. “So Rome’s success wasn’t just about its legions. It was about its belief that war was divine destiny.”
Alice leaned back, pleased. “And that, dear trickster, is why Mars wasn’t just a god. He was Rome itself.”
Rumple groaned. “I hate that I find this impressively ruthless.”
Alice winked. “History is written by the victors, darling. And Mars? He made sure Rome was always victorious.”
Loki chuckled. “Remind me never to underestimate a Roman.”
Alice raised her glass. “To Mars - the god of war, conquest, and the ultimate power move.”
Rumple muttered into his drink. “I still think he was just a glorified warlord.”
Alice smirked. “And that’s exactly why he won.”
🖋️✨📜🖤
.jpg)
