📖 🔥 Breaking News at the Immortal Gazette: Rumplestiltskin’s Emergency Protest Announcement
Rumplestiltskin’s Meltdown:
“This is an outrage! A travesty! An abomination! How could she?! After everything we’ve done here at the Gazette, Alice just up and decides she’s too good for us, huh? Starts her own column—oh, not just a column, but a whole blasted blog! And what does she call it? 'Alice Spills the Tea.' Alice Spills the Tea! Can you believe the nerve of her?!”
Rumple is pacing back and forth in the studio, his face flushed with rage, his hair practically standing on end. His little hands are shaking, and every now and then, he throws them up in the air in frustration.
“She’s gone rogue! And not only that, but she’s got her blog under Bloodthorn Publishing! And she’s hosting online mad tea parties now, like some kind of... some kind of digital tea overlord! It’s a betrayal! I’ve been slaving away here, keeping this place afloat, and she just…”
Loki’s Interruption:
“Oh, calm down, Rumple. Honestly, it’s brilliant! Keeps her out of trouble, doesn’t it? I mean, do you really want Alice wandering around, wreaking havoc in 4EverMore? You know how she gets. This way, she’s busy entertaining her fans with tea and scandal. It’s a win-win.”
Loki is lounging in a chair, feet propped up on the desk, arms crossed behind his head, a smug grin plastered across his face. He’s clearly enjoying every second of Rumple’s meltdown, soaking in the chaos like it’s his personal entertainment.
“Besides, have you checked out the blog? It’s quite something. Very... Alice. She’s got a flair for it, you have to admit. I think it’s great! She’s found her niche. And come on, Rumple, it’s not like she’s abandoned us. She’s just... expanding her horizons.”
Rumplestiltskin’s Continued Rant:
“Expanding her horizons? Loki, she’s stealing our audience! She’s out there, spilling all the juicy gossip, leaving us here with the scraps! And what’s next? Huh? What’s next, Loki? You going to start your own blog too? ‘Loki’s Lessons on Mischief’? Oh, that’s rich. You’d love that, wouldn’t you?”
Rumple’s voice rises in pitch as he gets more worked up, his eyes wild with indignation. He’s practically bouncing with anger, his tiny frame unable to contain the fury bubbling within.
Loki’s Retort:
“Now, now, Rumple, don’t get your knickers in a twist. I’m not starting a blog... yet. But if I did, it would definitely be called something more charming than ‘Loki’s Lessons on Mischief.’ Maybe... ‘Loki’s Laughs.’ I’m kidding. Or am I?”
Loki’s smirk widens, and he shoots a wink toward the camera, reveling in the theatrics of it all.
“And let’s be honest, Alice having her own platform is hardly a threat to us. If anything, it brings more eyes to the Gazette. People love drama, and who better to dish it out than Alice? Plus, she’s happy. Isn’t that what matters?”
Rumplestiltskin’s Final Blow:
“Happy?! Loki, this isn’t about happiness! This is about loyalty! It’s about keeping the team together, about not running off and creating your own empire of tea and madness! She’s got her mad tea parties now, and where does that leave us? Huh? Where does that leave me?”
Rumple throws his hands in the air again, exasperated beyond measure. He glares at Loki, his frustration boiling over as he realizes that his protest isn’t going to change a thing.
“Fine! Let her have her tea parties and her blog! But mark my words, this isn’t over. Not by a long shot. The Gazette will survive, with or without her! And when she comes crawling back, I’ll be here, holding down the fort, keeping this place running like I always do!”
Loki, still reclining comfortably, gives a slow, sarcastic clap.
“Bravo, Rumple. Truly, a performance worthy of a standing ovation. But, you know, maybe you should take a page out of Alice’s book. Relax a little. Have some tea. It might do you some good.”
Rumplestiltskin glares daggers at Loki, his lips pressed into a thin line as he fights to keep from exploding again.
Alice Spills the Tea: Live from Her Mad Tea Party
The scene was calm, for now. Alice sat at the head of a table piled high with strange and curious things—teacups that never emptied, spoons that spun themselves, and the occasional raven flitting about, casting inquisitive glances. Her studio was a riot of color, clutter, and chaos, a perfect reflection of its host.
Her listeners knew exactly what they were tuning in for—an odd tale, spun with just the right amount of madness. Alice grinned as she tapped her microphone, preparing for the next delightful absurdity to spill from her lips.
“Gather ‘round, my lovely lunatics. Today, I’ve got a story so sweet, it might just make you think twice about your own tea party... or not. Anyway, once upon a time, there was a beautiful, rebellious little creature who lived in the forests of Westbrook...”
She leaned in closer, her voice dropping to a whisper.
“This little creature, let’s call her—oh, I don’t know—Sylvia? Yes, Sylvia was not your average elf. You see, while the other elves sang songs of joy and picked flowers, Sylvia was more interested in... well... causing a little trouble.”
Her eyes sparkled as she wove the story, pulling her listeners into the whimsical world of Sylvia the elf who had a taste for mischief, chaos, and above all, sharp teeth.
“Sylvia loved the moonlit nights, when she could sneak into the royal gardens and steal a few glistening jewels from the crowns of unsuspecting rulers. But one night, she stole more than jewels... she stole a secret. A powerful secret that could shift the balance of the entire realm!”
Alice paused for effect, swirling her tea, only to hear a faint buzz in the background—rumble, rumble. She raised an eyebrow. The sound was growing louder, unmistakable.
“Hold on a minute, dears, I’ve got a bit of... imp business to take care of. Please, stay tuned!”
She quickly muted her mic, glaring at the speaker, as the unmistakable voice of Rumplestiltskin boomed through her studio, ranting and raving. The word “betrayal” was thrown around a few times, and there was a mention of “tea parties” and “tea overlord.”
Alice clicked the mute button, her eyes narrowing as she listened closely to every single word. “Well, well, well, seems someone’s having a tantrum...” she muttered, half-smiling.
Her hand gripped the phone, and before she could stop herself, she dialed in.
Meanwhile At the Immortal Gazette Studio
The phone rang once, twice, and then Loki picked up, his voice already laced with amusement.
“Well, well, Alice. Looks like you’ve caught wind of the rumblings in the air, huh?”
He clicked the speakerphone button, and suddenly, the whole Immortal Gazette studio could hear Alice’s voice ringing through.
“Oh, Rumple. Rumple, Rumple, Rumple...”
Her voice was syrupy sweet as she interrupted his latest tirade.
“You really are the drama king, aren’t you? Going off on a tantrum, talking about how my ‘side hustle’ is stealing your spotlight? Darling, you should be thanking me for keeping everyone entertained while you sulk about in your little studio.”
Loki, unable to hold back his laughter, added his two cents, making sure to get under Rumple’s skin.
“Honestly, I think Alice has earned her spot. A little tea never hurt anyone, and it might keep her out of trouble... or at least keep her busy enough to not wreck havoc on the streets of 4EverMore.”
Alice’s laughter rang through the airwaves.
“Oh, Loki, always the voice of reason. Well, for now. But let me just set the record straight—I’m not going anywhere. I’ve got my tea parties, I’ve got my blog, I’ve got my chaos. And yes, I’m still working at the Gazette, dear Rumple.”
She leaned in close, her voice dropping dramatically as if sharing a dark secret.
“But let’s not pretend you aren’t enjoying this little meltdown of yours. You love a bit of drama... and guess what, darling? You’ve got it. And I’m here for it. Who knew that the my little mad tea parties would get under your skin this much?”
Rumplestiltskin, fuming in his own studio, could barely form a coherent sentence between his snorts of indignation.
“Alice, you—how dare you—”
Alice didn’t let him finish, her voice cutting through his protest like a knife.
“Oh, darling, calm down. You sound ridiculous. Don’t you know by now? A queen can’t be stopped by a few jealous rants.”
The studio was in uproarious laughter, Loki thoroughly enjoying every moment of this spectacle, as Alice’s impish grin grew wider.
“So, to all my lovely listeners out there... yes, I’m still the Mad Queen of 4EverMore, still causing my little ripples of chaos. But now, I’ve added a little something extra to the mix. My tea empire is expanding, and honestly? I think I’m just getting started.”
With a flourish, Alice clicked the phone off, smiling to herself as the chaos continued to swirl.
Stay Tuned, Dearest Listeners
Don’t forget to catch Alice’s Mad Tea Parties over at Alice Spills the Tea, where the secrets are scandalous, the gossip is enchanted, and the tea? Always scalding.
Meanwhile, the drama rages on at the Immortal Gazette, where meltdowns are legendary and no one's safe from the next headline.
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