Saturn: The God of Time, Harvest… and a Very Messy Family Drama
Another exclusive from the Immortal Gazette—because history is just mythology that hasn’t been exposed yet.
Alice, Loki, and Rumplestiltskin were gathered around a grand, candlelit table in an ancient, forgotten corner of 4EverMore. Alice was lazily spinning an hourglass between her fingers while Loki sipped wine and Rumple glared at both of them with deep, preemptive annoyance.
“So, Saturn,” Alice mused, tilting her head. “A god of time, agriculture, and wealth. Bit of an odd combination, don’t you think?”
Loki smirked. “Not really. Time controls the harvest, the harvest creates wealth, and wealth buys time.”
Rumple huffed. “And let me guess - there’s another dark twist you’re about to unveil?”
Alice grinned. “Oh, you know it.” She tapped the hourglass. “See, everyone remembers Saturn for his Golden Age - a time of peace, prosperity, and everyone frolicking through wheat fields or whatever. But they conveniently forget what happened before that.”
Fact #1: The Whole “Eating His Kids” Thing Wasn’t Just for Drama
Loki leaned in, intrigued. “Ah, yes. The infamous ‘child-snacking’ incident.”
Rumple crossed his arms. “Saturn - Cronus - ate his children because he feared one of them would overthrow him. Classic paranoid tyrant behavior.”
Alice held up a finger. “Or…” she dragged out dramatically, “he was trying to cheat time itself.”
Loki arched an eyebrow. “Go on.”
Alice smirked. “Saturn wasn’t just the god of agriculture - he was the god of time. And you know what time does? It devours everything. Just like he did.”
Rumple frowned. “So, you’re saying that by eating his kids, he was trying to - what? Stop time?”
Alice nodded. “Exactly. The gods are bound by their own domains. Saturn knew that eventually, time would take him too. But if he could consume his heirs, absorb their divine essence, he might just sidestep his own fate. In a way, he was trying to do what mortals do every day - fight against time.”
Loki let out a low whistle. “That’s… disturbingly clever.”
Fact #2: Saturn’s Golden Age Was Peaceful… Because No One Was Fighting Back
“But then,” Alice continued, “after he was dethroned and banished, suddenly, he’s all about prosperity and peace? Sounds a little suspicious, doesn’t it?”
Rumple drummed his fingers against the table. “You’re saying he changed?”
Alice snorted. “I’m saying he was playing the long game. He went from devouring time to controlling it. Ever notice how every myth about his Golden Age is all about abundance? A world where no one had to work, no one suffered, and everyone just existed in perfect peace?”
Loki tilted his head. “That does sound… unnatural.”
Alice leaned in, voice dropping to a whisper. “Because it was.”
Rumple narrowed his eyes. “Explain.”
Alice flipped the hourglass again. “Saturn ruled a time outside of time. The Golden Age wasn’t about peace—it was about stasis. No progress, no decline. A world where nothing ever changed, because if time stopped moving, he could never be overthrown again.”
Loki’s expression darkened. “A gilded cage.”
Alice nodded. “And the second he was gone, what happened?”
Rumple sighed. “Time restarted. The other gods took over. And suddenly, humanity had to work for its survival again.”
Alice sat back, satisfied. “Exactly. Saturn wasn’t a benevolent ruler - he was a god who refused to let time move forward.”
Fact #3: He Never Really Left
Loki stretched. “Alright, so he tried to stop time, lost, and was cast away. But something tells me this story isn’t over.”
Alice grinned. “Oh, it never is.” She tapped the hourglass one last time. “See, Saturn may have lost his throne, but his influence never disappeared. Why do you think the Romans kept worshiping him, even centuries later? They feared him.”
Rumple scowled. “So what are you suggesting?”
Alice’s grin turned wicked. “That Saturn never truly left. His domain is time itself. And if there’s one thing we know about time…” She let the last grains of sand fall through the glass before whispering,
“…it always finds a way to come back around.”
Loki smirked. “Now that is a terrifying thought.”
Rumple rubbed his temples. “I hate when she’s right.”
Alice simply sipped her tea, eyes twinkling. After all, time was on her side.
🖋️✨📜🖤
