Zodiac Profile: Taurus - The Stubborn Earthquake
Immortal Gazette Special Edition: Don’t tell them to “chill,” it won’t work.
Alice, with her usual mischievous grin, leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms as she stared at the page in front of her. “Oh, Taurus, huh? I can already tell, this one’s gonna be a wild ride. The bull-headed, stubborn, ‘don’t mess with me’ type. And don’t you dare try to convince them to change their mind about anything. Trust me, it’s not going to happen.”
Loki smirked from across the table. “Well, it would be nice if their ‘stubborn’ wasn’t more like an immovable mountain. They dig in their heels faster than a squirrel hoarding acorns for winter. Try getting them to budge once they’ve decided anything—good luck.”
Rumple, not one to back down from a challenge, leaned forward, his fingers tapping on the table. “And let’s talk about that reliability of theirs, shall we? You can count on a Taurus, that’s for sure. They might take their sweet time, but when they show up? They don’t back down. It’s the slow and steady approach, and it works, eventually.”
Alice laughed, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “Eventually, yeah. They’ll finish that task... probably in five days, after they’ve mulled over it for at least 12 hours. But don’t expect them to rush. No, no. Rushing is beneath them.”
Loki leaned back, a smirk playing on his lips. “I don’t know. I kind of admire their patience. They’re like... that reliable friend who you know will show up—even if they’re 30 minutes late—and they’ll bring snacks to make up for it. But try telling them to hurry up. That’s the quickest way to ruin your entire day.”
Rumple nodded sagely. “But they do have their... charms. They’re dependable, strong, and with that Earth element, they know how to get things done—on their terms, of course.” He raised an eyebrow. “And don’t get me started on their love for luxury. Taurus will want to be surrounded by fine things, like high-end wine and ridiculously expensive leather chairs. It’s their vibe. If you’re looking for someone who’d choose comfort over chaos, Taurus is your sign.”
Alice grinned. “Oh yeah, I’ve seen their collection of treasures. Taurus isn’t just about collecting things, they collect quality. You know, real classy stuff. Anything worth their time better be top tier, or they’ll just snort in disinterest and look for something better.”
Loki laughed under his breath. “And while they may loathe change, they know how to keep things stable. Predictable. They like routine—reliable routine, which is actually impressive when the world around them is... well, chaos. They’re like a grounded, stubborn anchor in a storm.”
Alice rolled her eyes. “Until you try to get them to move that anchor. You want them to budge an inch? You’d have better luck trying to move an actual mountain with a spoon. Don’t even try. They’ll make you regret it.”
Taurus Breakdown: The Steady, Grounded, Yet Incredibly Stubborn Force
- Element: Earth (Yeah, good luck getting them to move off their rock. They’re rooted there.)
- Strengths: Loyalty, patience, stability—they're the ones who will always have your back, even if it takes them a while to get around to it. Oh, and don’t forget their practicality. If there’s something that needs to be built, they’re your people. They also have a seriously great sense of humor... if they like you.
- Weaknesses: Stubbornness to the extreme. They’ll dig in their heels and not budge even an inch, even if it’s in their best interest. Oh, and don’t even get them started on change. Taurus isn’t exactly about spontaneity, and that’s not a bad thing... until you want something to change and they flat-out refuse.
- Compatibility: Best paired with other Earth signs (Virgo, Capricorn), who understand their need for stability and routine. They’re also pretty compatible with water signs (Cancer, Pisces, Scorpio)—as long as those water signs know how to keep the drama in check.
- Famous Taurus: Venus, the goddess of love and beauty. Because, of course, they’d get along with Venus. Taurus just adores beauty and quality.
Alice grinned at her companions. “So, in short: Taurus is the person who’s got their life together—and refuses to change anything, even when it’s clearly time to.” She flicked her finger at them. “They're stubborn, slow, and don’t like to be rushed. But hey, they’re your best bet if you need something done right. Even if it takes them two weeks. No rush. Not like they’re going anywhere... ever.”
Loki gave a knowing chuckle. “And, of course, don’t forget the food and luxury. Don’t ask a Taurus to share their chocolates. You’ll regret it. Trust me.”
Rumple smirked. “At least they’re loyal, right? Even if it means dragging you through an eternity of predictability.”
Alice waved a hand. “Taurus: always reliable, always stubborn. They’ll hold their ground, for better or worse. So, maybe don’t try to push them off that rock... or, well, good luck with that.”
And with that, the Immortal Gazette had concluded their chaotic (and surprisingly accurate) breakdown of Taurus. If you want stability and comfort... just make sure you’re ready to wait.
🖋️✨📜🖤
