Neptune: The God of the Sea, Storms, and Seriously Bad Moods
Another exclusive from the Immortal Gazette -because history is just mythology with better PR.
Alice was swirling a deep blue potion in her teacup, watching the liquid move like a miniature storm trapped in porcelain. Across the table, Loki was absentmindedly carving runes into the wooden surface with a dagger, and Rumplestiltskin was already looking irritated.
“So, Neptune,” Alice began, tapping her cup. “Roman god of the sea, earthquakes, and terrible anger management.”
Loki smirked. “Sounds like someone we know.”
Rumple rolled his eyes. “If you’re about to say me, I swear - ”
Alice held up a hand. “Relax, Goldie Locks. I was obviously talking about Neptune. The guy made entire cities disappear because he felt disrespected.”
Loki leaned back. “Ah, yes. The classic ‘you didn’t build me a temple fast enough, so now you get a tsunami’ approach.”
Fact #1: Neptune Wasn't Just a Sea God - He Was a Land God First
Rumple frowned. “Wait - wasn’t Poseidon always tied to the sea? Why would Neptune be any different?”
Alice grinned. “Excellent question!” She placed her cup down. “See, before Neptune became the big, scary sea god, he was actually worshipped as a god of freshwater and horses.”
Loki blinked. “Horses?”
Alice nodded. “Yup. Neptune was originally tied to rivers and springs. The Romans weren’t a seafaring people at first, so they didn’t really care about ocean gods. But once they expanded, conquered new lands, and realized ‘oh, hey, water travel is actually important,’ they went oops and gave Neptune a much bigger role.”
Rumple scoffed. “So he got a promotion?”
Alice smirked. “More like a transfer. One minute, he’s the god of springs and herding, and the next, he’s suddenly Lord of the Abyss. Talk about a career shift.”
Loki chuckled. “Explains the temper. I’d be mad too if my job suddenly required dealing with oceanic disasters instead of watering the fields.”
Fact #2: He and Poseidon Weren’t Actually the Same
Rumple crossed his arms. “But he’s just Poseidon with a Roman name, right?”
Alice wagged a finger. “Wrong. So wrong.” She leaned forward. “See, Poseidon was always the wild, untamed force of nature. A god of chaos, floods, and things best left beneath the waves. But Neptune? The Romans saw him differently.”
Loki tapped his dagger against the table. “How so?”
Alice grinned. “Neptune wasn’t just destruction -he was power and authority. His name literally comes from ‘nepos,’ meaning ‘lord’ or ‘master.’ He was all about dominion over the waters, not just throwing tantrums with them.”
Rumple arched an eyebrow. “So while Poseidon was out there creating sea monsters and wrecking ships, Neptune was…”
Alice sipped her tea. “Making sure Rome controlled the entire Mediterranean.”
Loki let out a low whistle. “Ah. So, *less sea god, more ocean emperor?”
Alice nodded. “Exactly. Poseidon was a rogue storm - unpredictable, terrifying. Neptune was the commanding presence behind every Roman naval victory. He was the god of a sea empire.”
Fact #3: You Really Didn’t Want to Insult Him
Rumple sighed. “So, another vengeful god with a fragile ego. Fantastic.”
Alice smirked. “Oh, you have no idea.” She placed her cup down. “Neptune wasn’t just touchy - he was downright dangerous. You so much as sneezed in his direction without permission, and boom! - your entire city gets swallowed by the sea.”
Loki grinned. “Sounds fun.”
Alice chuckled. “Tell that to the people of Helike.”
Rumple frowned. “Helike?”
Alice nodded. “A wealthy Greek city that refused to properly honor Poseidon - Neptune’s Greek counterpart. And guess what happened?”
Loki smirked. “A tragic accident?”
Alice grinned. “Try a massive earthquake, followed by a giant tsunami, that completely wiped Helike off the map. People said it was divine retribution.”
Rumple rubbed his temples. “Wonderful. So, Neptune didn’t just demand worship - he enforced it.”
Alice shrugged. “Of course. He wasn’t some kindly sea spirit. He was a ruler. His realm, his rules. You don’t respect the ocean? The ocean removes you.”
Loki raised a glass. “I like him.”
Rumple groaned. “Of course you do.”
Alice smirked. “Honestly, same. You have to admire the commitment.”
She spun the potion in her teacup one last time before whispering,
“After all… the sea never forgets.”
🖋️✨📜🖤
