Artemis: The Fierce Huntress of the Moon | The Immortal Gazette
The Immortal Gazette studio was its usual blend of organized chaos. Floating parchment, self-writing quills, and an enchanted owl who had taken over one of the light fixtures. Alice leaned back in her chair, boots up on the table, flipping a dagger between her fingers like it was a mere toothpick.
“Alright, darlings, today’s feature: Artemis—the fierce, the untamed, the goddess of the hunt, the moon, and ‘please don’t talk to me, I’m busy being an eternal badass.’”
Loki raised an eyebrow, lounging casually. “Ah, the original wild woman.”
Rumple smirked. “More like the eternal lone wolf. Didn’t she swear off men entirely?”
Alice grinned. “Oh, she sure did. Unlike most of Olympus, Artemis wasn’t out here playing who’s my next immortal entanglement? No, she took a vow of eternal maidenhood and meant it. Which was rare, considering her father was Zeus, the king of ‘Oops, I did it again.’”
Loki chuckled. “So she saw Olympus’ mess and just said, ‘Absolutely not.’”
Alice nodded. “Correct. Now, let’s take it back to her origin story. Artemis and her twin brother Apollo were born to Leto, a Titaness. But here’s where things get ugly—Hera, Zeus’s ever-jealous wife, was not pleased about Zeus cheating on her. Again.”
Rumple rolled his eyes. “So she did what she always does?”
Alice sighed. “Yes—Hera sent a massive serpent named Python after pregnant Leto to prevent her from giving birth anywhere on Earth.”
Loki smirked. “That’s some extra level of petty.”
Alice grinned. “Oh, absolutely. But Leto found a loophole—she gave birth on Delos, a floating island not fully attached to the Earth. And here’s the kicker—Artemis was born first. And the moment she was out, she turned around and helped deliver Apollo.”
Rumple raised an eyebrow. “So she was a midwife at literally one second old?”
Alice shrugged. “Goddess of childbirth, darling. She got her divine job early.”
Loki nodded. “Alright, but how did she go from baby midwife to Olympus’ most feared huntress?”
Alice smirked. “She had a very specific wishlist for Daddy Zeus. At three years old, she marched right up to him and said, ‘I want a bow and arrow like Apollo’s, a pack of hunting dogs, a group of nymphs to run with, and absolutely NO men in my personal space, ever. Oh, and I get to keep my maidenhood forever.’”
Rumple snorted. “Three years old, and she already had better boundaries than half of Olympus.”
Loki smirked. “Zeus agreed?”
Alice shrugged. “Oh, he adored her, so he granted everything she asked for. And so, Artemis became the untamed goddess of the wilderness, hunting with her silver bow under the light of the moon, running with her band of nymphs and fiercely protecting them.”
Rumple leaned forward. “And by ‘fiercely protecting,’ you mean she straight-up killed anyone who crossed her?”
Alice grinned. “Oh, absolutely. Which brings us to one of my favorite cautionary tales—Actaeon.”
Loki smirked. “Ah, the poor fool who did not read the ‘Do Not Enter’ sign.”
Alice nodded. “Picture this—Artemis is bathing in a sacred spring with her nymphs, enjoying a peaceful moment in the wild. And here comes Actaeon, a mortal hunter, who accidentally stumbles onto the scene.”
Rumple snickered. “And Artemis was so understanding and kind, right?”
Alice gave him a deadpan look. “Oh, totally. She turned him into a stag and let his own hunting dogs tear him apart.”
Loki let out a low whistle. “That’s... a bit much.”
Alice shrugged. “She warned people not to cross her.”
Rumple laughed. “Sounds like Artemis’ personal motto was ‘If you mess around, you will find out.’”
Alice grinned. “Exactly. And let’s not forget her ultimate revenge against Orion.”
Loki leaned forward. “Ah, the only man she might have liked—until she didn’t.”
Alice nodded. “Orion was a great hunter, and some versions say they were friends—or maybe more than friends. But then he got cocky and either tried to claim he was better than Artemis at hunting, or—worse—tried to force himself on her.”
Rumple sighed. “So... he died.”
Alice smirked. “Oh, he died spectacularly. Some say Artemis shot him down herself. Others say she sent a giant scorpion after him—which is why he’s now a constellation, forever fleeing across the sky.”
Loki chuckled. “A literal ‘know your place’ lesson written into the stars.”
Alice raised her teacup. “And that, my darlings, is Artemis—the huntress, the protector, the goddess who bowed to no one and made sure they knew it.”
Rumple shook his head. “Remind me never to walk into a sacred Artemis bathhouse.”
Loki smirked. “Or claim you’re better at anything than she is.”
Alice grinned. “Wise choices, boys. Wise choices.”
And with that, another Immortal Gazette tale was told—one of wilderness, power, and a goddess who would forever be free.
🖋️✨📜🖤
