Venus & Mars: A Love Affair That Shook Olympus
An Immortal Gazette Exclusive - Because Even Gods Have Messy Love Lives.
Alice was sprawled across a velvet chaise, sipping something deep red - definitely not wine. Loki was polishing one of his daggers, looking far too amused. Rumplestiltskin, as always, sat with his arms crossed, already regretting being here.
"So," Alice began, stretching lazily, "let’s talk about Venus and Mars - the most dramatic couple in Olympus. Because, let’s be honest, love and war? Disaster waiting to happen."
Loki grinned. "Ah, opposites attract. She’s all beauty, charm, and diplomatic seduction - he’s all blood, battle, and absolute carnage."
Rumple groaned. "Let me guess - chaos followed?"
Alice smirked. "Oh, darling. Of course it did."
A Forbidden Romance in the Heavens
"First off," Alice said, flipping a page in an old, tattered scroll, "Venus - aka Aphrodite - was already married to Hephaestus. Olympus' resident blacksmith. Not exactly a match made in Elysium."
Loki snorted. "Let me guess. A marriage arranged by Zeus?"
"Of course," Alice confirmed. "He thought, ‘Hey, let’s marry the literal goddess of beauty to the crippled, soot-covered forge god.’ Because that wouldn’t cause problems."
Rumple rolled his eyes. "And enter Mars."
Alice smirked. "Oh yes, Mars - or as the Greeks called him, Ares. The hot-headed, battle-crazed, god of destruction. Basically, the kind of guy who should not be left alone with someone like Venus. But, guess what?"
Loki grinned. "They fell madly in love."
Alice raised a glass. "And they didn’t exactly hide it, either."
The Affair That Shook Olympus
"The two of them weren’t just sneaking around," Alice continued. "They were having elaborate rendezvous in Hephaestus' own bed."
Rumple cringed. "That’s… just rude."
Loki laughed. "Bold, though."
Alice leaned forward. "But here’s where it gets better. Hephaestus - being a genius - knew what was happening. So what did he do? He forged an invisible net of unbreakable chains and trapped them mid-affair."
Rumple’s eyes widened. "Wait. Mid-affair?"
Alice grinned. "Oh yes. Right in the act."
Loki smirked. "And then what?"
Alice sipped her drink. "Then he called in all the gods to watch."
Rumple choked. "He publicly humiliated them?"
Alice nodded. "Oh, and the other gods loved it. Poseidon laughed himself sick. Hermes and Apollo made jokes for centuries. Even Zeus was like, ‘Well, this is awkward.’"
Loki was grinning. "And Mars?"
Alice smirked. "He was livid. But could he do anything? Nope. He had to sit there, tangled in chains, while the entire Olympian court mocked him."
Rumple shook his head. "That’s brutal."
Did They Stop? Of Course Not.
Alice twirled a strand of her hair. "Now, you’d think that would end things, right? That maybe Venus would return to Hephaestus and Mars would go off to pillage a few cities to recover his dignity."
Loki chuckled. "I’m guessing that didn’t happen."
Alice grinned. "Oh, absolutely not. Venus and Mars kept right on sneaking around. They even had several kids together - including Phobos and Deimos, the literal personifications of Fear and Terror."
Rumple huffed. "Because of course their children would be named that."
Alice shrugged. "What can I say? They had a theme."
Love & War: A Never-Ending Cycle
"So, what’s the takeaway here?" Loki asked, tossing his dagger in the air.
Alice smirked. "That love and war are forever intertwined. Venus and Mars were never meant to be peaceful - they were meant to burn bright, explode, and leave a trail of destruction in their wake."
Rumple sighed. "So, basically, their love didn’t bring peace - it just added more chaos to an already dysfunctional divine family."
Alice raised her glass. "And that, my friends, is why the gods are just as messy as mortals. Only with way more collateral damage."
Loki smirked. "I like them."
Rumple groaned. "Of course you do."
Alice chuckled. "To Venus and Mars - proof that passion and destruction will always go hand in hand."
And with that, the Immortal Gazette unraveled yet another myth, leaving no love story unscathed.
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