Minerva: The Goddess Who Kept It Together
An Immortal Gazette Exclusive - Because Someone Had to Keep the Gods from Burning Everything Down.
Alice sipped her tea (or possibly a potion of questionable legality) while Loki idly toyed with a golden owl figurine. Rumplestiltskin, as usual, looked like he wanted to set something on fire -preferably whatever Alice was about to say.
“So,” Loki said, tossing the owl in the air and catching it, “Minerva. Goddess of wisdom. Patroness of strategy. The one Olympian who didn’t cause a complete disaster every other Tuesday.”
Alice smirked. “Oh, precisely, dear trickster. Unlike your oh-so-dramatic gods, Minerva was the one who actually kept Rome functioning.”
Rumple crossed his arms. “You’re saying a goddess - a literal immortal - was the reason Rome didn’t collapse into madness and wine-fueled chaos?”
Alice twirled a lock of her hair. “That, and maybe a few legions with very pointy spears. But yes.”
Minerva: The Intellectual Powerhouse
“While everyone else was out there turning lovers into trees or launching decade-long wars over one pretty face,” Alice said, “Minerva was busy ensuring civilization didn’t implode.”
Loki smirked. “So, what you’re saying is… she was the designated driver of the gods?”
Alice pointed at him. “Exactly! Jupiter’s throwing lightning bolts for fun, Mars is picking fights, Venus is meddling in everyone’s love life, and Minerva? She’s over there building infrastructure, teaching people actual skills, and creating art.”
Rumple frowned. “I don’t buy it. A goddess with no drama? No scandals? No petty rivalries?”
Alice shrugged. “Oh, she had her moments. But Minerva didn’t waste her time on romantic theatrics - no tragic lovers, no vengeance plots. She was about power through intelligence.”
Loki tilted his head. “So she wasn’t out there seducing mortals or causing epic tragedies?”
Alice laughed. “Oh, gods, no. She was out there teaching people how to conquer with their minds instead of their swords.”
The Woman in the Room with the Actual Plan
“Let’s be honest,” Alice continued, “without Minerva, Rome would’ve been just another god-forsaken empire crumbling under its own chaos.”
Loki smirked. “Instead, they got an empire that lasted over a thousand years.”
Alice winked. “Exactly. And you know what’s even better? Unlike all those hot-headed gods, Minerva didn’t need a chariot made of flames or an army of war-mongering fanatics. She just out-thought everyone.”
Rumple exhaled. “So… Minerva was basically the CEO of Rome?”
Alice grinned. “And unlike most CEOs, she actually knew what she was doing.”
Loki chuckled. “I think I might like her.”
Alice smirked. “Oh, of course you do. She’s brilliant, strategic, and in control. Sounds like someone we know.”
Rumple groaned. “Please, not this again.”
But Alice had already turned away, sipping her tea with a knowing smile - because Minerva wasn’t just the goddess of wisdom… she was the reason the gods didn’t completely burn the world down.
🖋️✨📜🖤
