Venus: The Goddess of Love, Beauty… and Absolute Chaos
An Immortal Gazette Exclusive - Because Love Is Never As Pretty As It Seems.
Alice was lounging on a silk-draped chaise in the Immortal Gazette’s study, flipping an ancient coin between her fingers. The coin bore the image of Venus - Roman goddess of love, beauty, desire… and, as Alice liked to call her, a divine agent of absolute chaos.
Loki, ever the smug trickster, smirked from his chair. “So, you’re telling me the goddess of love was actually one of the biggest troublemakers in mythology?”
Alice raised a brow. “Oh, absolutely. Venus wasn’t just about love and beauty - she was about manipulation, affairs, destruction, and making mortals lose their minds.”
Rumplestiltskin, already bracing for the inevitable mess, sipped his drink. “Alright, enlighten me. How bad could it be?”
Alice grinned. “Oh, you have no idea.”
Fact #1: Venus Was Born From Pure Drama
Loki stretched. “Let’s start with her origin story - always a fun place to begin.”
Alice twirled her finger. “Picture this: Saturn, the Titan, gets a little too ambitious and decides to overthrow his father, Uranus. And what’s the best way to do that?”
Loki smirked. “Murder?”
Alice clicked her tongue. “Worse. He castrates him - and tosses his divine bits into the ocean.”
Rumple nearly choked on his drink. “Excuse me?!”
Alice grinned. “Oh, but it gets better. From the sea foam of those divine remains, Venus arises, fully grown, radiant, and absolutely unbothered.”
Loki chuckled. “Born from severed god-parts and ocean waves. That explains a lot.”
Fact #2: Venus Was the Ultimate Matchmaker - And Homewrecker
Alice tapped the coin. “Now, you’d think the goddess of love would be all about romance, right?”
Rumple raised a brow. “I’m guessing… no.”
Alice smirked. “Absolutely not. Venus loved messing with people’s love lives. She didn’t just inspire passion - she forced it on people, just to watch the drama unfold.”
Loki grinned. “Like a divine puppet master of romance.”
Alice nodded. “Exactly. She made Medea fall madly in love with Jason, leading to… well, murder and tragedy. She cursed Pasiphaë to fall in love with a bull - ”
Rumple groaned. “Oh, come on.”
Alice grinned. “Oh, and let’s not forget her role in the Trojan War.”
Fact #3: Venus Literally Started a War Over a Beauty Contest
Loki smirked. “Ah, this one I know. The Apple of Discord.”
Alice clapped. “Bingo! See, Venus really wanted to be the most beautiful goddess. So when Eris - the goddess of discord - threw that golden apple into the party, labeled ‘For the Fairest,’ Venus had to have it.”
Rumple frowned. “And this led to war?”
Alice rolled her eyes. “Oh, not directly. She, Juno, and Minerva all wanted the apple. So they dragged a mortal prince - Paris - into their divine squabble. Venus bribed him with the promise of the most beautiful mortal woman in the world.”
Loki grinned. “Helen of Troy.”
Alice pointed at him. “Exactly. So Paris picks Venus, Helen gets abducted, and the entire Greek world goes to war.”
Rumple sighed. “So… all because Venus couldn’t handle losing a beauty contest?”
Alice grinned. “Correct. And she spent the war actively making things worse. She protected Paris, meddled in battles, and just stirred the pot constantly.”
Loki chuckled. “Goddess of love, you say?”
Alice smirked. “Love and absolute anarchy.”
Fact #4: Venus Had the Worst Marriage in Olympus
Rumple leaned forward. “Okay, fine. But what about her own love life? Surely the goddess of love had a perfect romance?”
Alice burst out laughing. “Oh, no no no. She was forced to marry Vulcan - the god of fire and forges. He was… not exactly the dreamy type.”
Loki raised a brow. “And she wasn’t happy about it?”
Alice smirked. “She cheated on him constantly - most famously with Mars, the god of war.”
Rumple groaned. “Love and war? That’s just - ”
“Poetic,” Loki finished.
Alice grinned. “Oh, and when Vulcan found out? He trapped her and Mars in an unbreakable golden net while they were in bed - then invited all the gods to come and laugh at them.”
Loki chuckled. “Humiliating and theatrical. I approve.”
Fact #5: Venus’s Descendants Were the Ultimate Power Players
Alice leaned in. “Now, here’s where it gets interesting. Venus wasn’t just stirring up drama in Olympus. Her descendants literally shaped history.”
Loki arched a brow. “Go on.”
Alice smirked. “Ever heard of Julius Caesar?”
Rumple blinked. “Wait… what?”
Alice nodded. “The Roman Julius Caesar claimed to be directly descended from Venus through her mortal son, Aeneas.”
Loki whistled. “So she didn’t just meddle in mythology - she shaped the real world.”
Alice grinned. “Exactly. And Rome? Oh, they worshipped her. They built temples, threw festivals, and made her their patron goddess.”
Rumple shook his head. “So she was responsible for centuries of imperial rule?”
Alice raised her glass. “All hail Venus, the original power broker of history.”
Final Verdict: Venus Was Not Your Sweet, Gentle Love Goddess
Loki smirked. “So, let’s summarize: Venus was born from divine bloodshed, manipulated lovers into insanity, literally caused a war, cheated on her husband constantly, and helped shape the Roman Empire.”
Alice nodded. “Yep. But she also inspired art, poetry, and basically defined the idea of beauty forever.”
Rumple sighed. “So, love isn’t gentle - it’s dangerous.”
Alice clinked her glass against his. “Now you’re getting it.”
Loki grinned. “And let’s be honest - she’d love that we’re still talking about her.”
Alice smirked. “Oh, she’d adore it.”
And just like that, the Immortal Gazette once again peeled back the layers of mythology, proving that love was never as simple - or as sweet - as it seemed.
🖋️✨📜🖤
