The Tragic (and Totally Overdramatic) Tale of Orpheus and Eurydice: Told by Alice & Loki
The Immortal Gazette studio was an eclectic mix of chaos and charm, much like its two hosts. Alice sat on one side of the stage, sipping tea with an air of casual elegance, while Loki lounged on the other, his legs propped up on the table in that annoyingly nonchalant way that only he could pull off.
“This next myth,” Alice began, her eyes glinting with mischief, “is a real tear-jerker. The story of Orpheus and Eurydice—one of love, loss, and, of course, stupidity.”
Loki raised an eyebrow, clearly intrigued. “Oh? Stupidity, you say? You know how much I love a good dose of human folly. Do tell, my dear.”
Alice rolled her eyes but couldn’t suppress her grin. “Well, Orpheus was a musician—handsome, talented, and completely full of himself. And Eurydice?” She paused, letting the suspense build. “She was the beautiful nymph who, tragically, fell in love with him.”
Loki clucked his tongue. “Typical. They always fall for the charming ones. What happens next? Let me guess—he does something ridiculously heroic to ruin it all?”
Alice’s grin widened. “Bingo. Orpheus, being the genius he was, had the brilliant idea to venture into the Underworld to bring Eurydice back from the dead. But here’s the catch—he was told not to look back at her until they were safely out of the Underworld.”
Loki’s eyes gleamed with amusement. “Oh, this is going to end well. You’re telling me this ‘brilliant’ musician couldn’t follow the most basic instruction?”
Alice nodded, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “Yep. You guessed it. The moment he stepped into the light of the mortal world, he looked back. And bam—Eurydice was lost to him forever. Such a tragic, beautiful mess of a story.”
Loki leaned forward, smirking. “Wait, wait. So, he couldn’t resist the urge to look back? He wasn’t even tempted to take a second glance at her? I mean, the tension alone would have driven me mad!”
Alice raised her teacup, pretending to be deep in thought. “Well, you’re certainly a special case, Loki. But Orpheus, in his infinite wisdom, just couldn’t help it. He couldn’t trust the one thing that could have saved him.”
Loki chuckled darkly. “Ah, classic mistake. Trusting the universe. Trusting love. Pfft—foolish mortals.”
Alice leaned back, her voice lowering into something far too casual. “You’re one to talk, Loki. When’s the last time you didn’t cause some kind of chaos because of love?”
Loki’s grin only widened. “Oh, love? Please, Alice. I don’t ‘do’ love. I do fun.”
Alice raised an eyebrow. “So you’re saying, if you were in Orpheus’s shoes, you wouldn’t have turned around?”
Loki hummed thoughtfully, looking far too pleased with himself. “Oh, I would have looked back. But not because I couldn’t resist. I would’ve done it because I’m Loki, and I don’t follow rules. Besides, if Eurydice was worth it, she’d have found a way to stay by my side.”
Alice snorted, almost choking on her tea. “That’s… well, of course you’d say that. You’re an incorrigible troublemaker. Honestly, I’m surprised you don’t have a following of mortals worshipping you for that ‘I-can-do-anything’ attitude.”
Loki shrugged, utterly unbothered. “Why settle for mortals when I’ve got the entire world of immortals under my charm?”
Alice flicked her fingers dismissively. “Oh please. Don’t get all serious now, Loki. We’re telling a tragic myth here, remember?”
Loki leaned in, his expression suddenly more playful. “But tragedy makes everything more interesting, doesn’t it? Think about it, Alice. The drama of Orpheus’s failure, the poignancy of his loss. It’s practically designed for chaos. Which is why I’d probably be much better at it than he was.”
Alice shot him a look, as if weighing whether to throw a witty remark or just ignore him altogether. “I’ll admit, you’d probably mess up the Underworld in the best way possible. But for once, maybe Orpheus could’ve used a bit of your flair for trouble. Maybe then he wouldn’t have been so predictable.”
Loki’s smirk was all teeth. “Predictable? Alice, darling, I never do predictable.”
As they continued to banter back and forth, the story of Orpheus and Eurydice slipped further into the background, overtaken by their bickering and playful remarks. They were, after all, far more entertaining than any myth—especially when they were both involved.
And as always, Rumplestiltskin, lurking from the shadows, could feel his patience wearing thin.
🖋️✨📜🖤
