The Immortal Gazette: The Rise and Fall of the Glass-Steagall Act
The fire in the grand hall crackled as Alice sat cross-legged on a velvet chaise, flipping through an old financial tome. Loki, ever the opportunist, was sipping an extremely expensive glass of wine he absolutely did not pay for.
“What is that?” Loki asked, eyeing the book with suspicion. “Another one of your dusty mortal histories?”
Alice smirked, tapping the leather cover. “Oh, just a little thing called the Glass-Steagall Act—one of the most important financial laws mortals ever passed… and then stupidly repealed.”
Loki sighed dramatically. “Oh, wonderful. Another cautionary tale of mortal incompetence. Do enlighten me.”
Alice grinned. “Oh, you’re gonna love this one. So, back in the 1920s, banks were basically running wild. They weren’t just doing boring things like holding deposits and giving loans—they were also gambling in the stock market. Banks would use customers’ deposits to fund high-risk investments, and surprise, surprise—it all crashed in 1929.”
Rumplestiltskin, perched on the armrest of a nearby chair, cackled. “Ah, yes! The Great Depression—when mortals learned that blind greed doesn’t end well.”
Alice pointed at him. “Exactly. The whole financial system collapsed. Banks failed left and right, people lost their savings, and the economy went into a death spiral. Naturally, the government panicked and finally decided, ‘Hey, maybe we should regulate these people before they burn the whole system down.’”
Loki swirled his wine. “So, what did they do?”
Alice held up the book. “Enter the Glass-Steagall Act of 1933. This law separated commercial banking from investment banking. In other words, regular banks could no longer use customer deposits to gamble on the stock market. If you were a boring old savings-and-loans bank, you had to stay that way. If you were an investment bank, you had to take risks without dragging the average person’s bank account into your mess.”
Rumplestiltskin clapped. “Ah! A sensible rule for once!”
Alice nodded. “It worked, too. For decades, the banking system was stable. No massive financial crashes like 1929. But of course, the greed was too strong.”
Loki leaned forward. “Let me guess—mortal bankers wanted their toys back.”
Alice sighed. “Oh, did they ever. By the 1980s and 1990s, big banks were whining that Glass-Steagall was ‘holding them back.’ They wanted to merge commercial and investment banking again—because why just make some money when you can gamble with everyone’s money?”
Rumplestiltskin cackled. “And let me guess—they found a way to kill the law.”
Alice grinned darkly. “Oh, they sure did. In 1999, President Bill Clinton signed the Gramm-Leach-Bliley Act, which repealed most of Glass-Steagall. That meant banks could once again mix customer savings with high-risk financial schemes. And do you know what happened less than a decade later?”
Loki smirked. “Let me guess—another disaster?”
Alice clapped her hands together. “Ding ding ding! The 2008 Financial Crisis! Banks went wild with risky investments, especially in the mortgage market. They created a house of cards with subprime loans, bundled them into complex securities, and when it all came crashing down—boom! Another financial meltdown! The government had to bail them out, millions lost their homes, and the economy tanked.”
Rumplestiltskin shook his head. “So they ignored history and made the exact same mistake?”
Alice leaned back with a satisfied smirk. “Exactly. Repealing Glass-Steagall let banks get too big and reckless again. If it had still been in place, the financial crisis probably wouldn’t have been as bad. Now, banks are basically giant financial octopuses—controlling everything from mortgages to investment trading to credit cards. And the risk? Oh, it’s still there.”
Loki raised his glass. “So, in summary—mortals created a rule to stop financial chaos, got bored, removed the rule, and immediately caused more financial chaos?”
Alice grinned. “Bingo.”
Rumplestiltskin shook his head, laughing. “Ah, mortals. Eternally foolish.”
Alice lifted her book. “And that, gentlemen, is why we still feel the effects of the Glass-Steagall repeal today. The banking system is massive, still loves risky bets, and if another crisis hits—well, let’s just say I wouldn’t be shocked.”
Loki smirked. “I suppose that means I should invest in gold?”
Alice winked. “Or enchanted gemstones. Much safer.”
And with that, she turned the page, ready for the next lesson mortals refused to learn.
🖋️✨📜🖤
