The Immortal Gazette: Gods and Their Bad Habits – Divinity in the Details
The Immortal Gazette studio was bathed in the golden hue of twilight. Loki, lounging with an air of nonchalance that could only come from eons of existence, was the first to speak, his voice dripping with amusement. “Alright, mortals, gather close. Tonight, we’re delving into the world of gods. Not the shiny, perfect ones you read about in your myth books, but the real deal. The ones who can’t keep their hands to themselves, can’t stop meddling, and have a whole host of bad habits that make even me look moderately well-behaved.”
Alice smirked from across the table, twirling a dagger through her fingers. “Oh, yes. Gods. The mighty, the immortal, the unpredictable. They might sit on thrones and demand worship, but the truth is, they’re more likely to break your heart, ruin your crops, or even start a war because they’re bored.”
Rumplestiltskin laughed darkly, eyes glittering with mischief. “Do you think they learned their lessons from the messes they created the first time? Oh no. They never do. They’re gods. Their egos are as big as their powers and that’s saying something.”
Loki leaned forward, clearly enjoying the moment. “Oh, let’s start with the basics. What do we really know about gods, eh? They don’t like being told what to do, they get petty when things don’t go their way, and if there’s one thing they love, it’s chaos. Whether it’s messing with mortals or even their fellow gods. Who are we kidding? Even the gods can’t stay out of drama.”
Alice raised an eyebrow. “Some of them live for drama. Take Aphrodite, for example, she doesn’t just want lovers, she wants chaos in her love life. She’s the one who’ll start a war over a single unspoken look, and then act all innocent like she had nothing to do with it.”
The God of War: A Bit Too Fond of Fighting
Rumplestiltskin leaned back, clearly relishing the subject. “And then there’s Ares. Let's be honest, the guy is a walking, talking war machine with a God complex. He’s the first one to start a battle, usually for the sheer joy of it, and then he’ll lose his temper when things go wrong. He doesn’t care who gets hurt in the process; if there’s blood and carnage, he’s a happy camper.”
Loki laughed. “And don’t forget about his romance with Aphrodite. Those two? They were like a walking, breathing Greek tragedy. Chaos follows them wherever they go. Usually because Ares wants to fight, and Aphrodite wants to watch the drama unfold. They were made for each other.”
Alice leaned in with a glint of excitement. “Speaking of Aphrodite, there’s also her competition with Hera. That is a game of egos. Hera may be the queen of the gods, but she’s got this whole jealousy thing going on. I mean, come on. The woman’s husband is Zeus, how is that not a recipe for disaster?”
Loki grinned wickedly. “Ah, Zeus. A god who can’t keep it in his pants. He’s not exactly winning any ‘husband of the year’ awards, is he?”
Zeus: The Perils of Power and Affairs
Rumplestiltskin snorted. “Zeus is a perfect example of godly bad habits. Not only does he cheat on Hera constantly, but he’s the god of lightning! So what does he do? Throw lightning bolts at anyone who gets in his way. Talk about taking your power a little too seriously.”
Loki took a sip of his drink, still grinning. “Zeus is the perfect image of how too much power can turn you into a reckless fool. He sleeps with mortal women, demi-goddesses, nymphs, you name it—and the worst part? He’s completely oblivious to the consequences. The entire world has to pick up the pieces when he has a little ‘fling’. Does he even care? Oh no. He’s off to the next ‘adventure.’”
Alice rolled her eyes. “And then there’s the whole ‘king of the gods’ thing. Zeus has this self-importance that could rival a god of arrogance. He’s got two problems. One, he can’t let go of control, and two he can’t accept that others might have a better idea than him. He just keeps meddling, creating new problems and making everything worse.”
The Trickster Gods: Mischief and Mayhem
Rumplestiltskin’s lips curled into a smile as he joined in. “And let’s not forget Loki! oh, I know, you’re thinking I’m going to go easy on him. But no. He’s a god of mischief, and the thing about mischief is that it’s not always as innocent as it sounds. He’ll flip a situation on its head just to see what happens, and then act all innocent when it blows up in someone’s face.”
Loki raised an eyebrow, his voice laced with amusement. “Guilty as charged. But who can blame me? Mortals, gods, even other gods are so predictable. Chaos keeps things interesting, doesn’t it?”
Alice sighed. “Loki’s bad habit isn’t just about causing chaos. It's the fact that he always gets out of the consequences. He’s too good at getting away with it.”
Loki smirked. “I’m simply resourceful.”
The Gods of Wine and Revelry: Dionysus and the Party That Never Ends
Rumplestiltskin clapped his hands, eyes sparkling with delight. “Ah, Dionysus. The god of wine, revelry, and excess. This one, I’m sure mortals would just love to throw back a goblet of wine with, thinking it’s all fun and games. But trust me, Dionysus doesn’t know where the fun ends—he’s the kind of god who’d turn your casual wine tasting into an all-night orgy with the entire town. Moderation? What’s that?”
Loki shook his head. “Dionysus doesn’t just break rules, he rewrites them. He’s a walking party with a crown made of grapevines. If you think your life is getting boring, you just pray he notices you. Though, you might regret it the next morning. If you remember it at all.”
Alice grinned. “And you better pray you don’t upset him. He’s the type to turn you into a tree just because you didn’t invite him to the party.”
Final Thoughts: Gods Divine, Disturbing, and Definitely Not Safe
Loki raised his glass with a wicked grin. “The moral of the story, mortals? Gods are divine creatures, but they’re also deeply flawed. The higher you sit, the more likely you are to get tangled up in your own mess of ego, power, and mistakes. And when you’ve got that kind of power? You don’t always have to clean it up.”
Rumplestiltskin nodded sagely. “So, beware the gods. They might grant you blessings, but they’ll never stop playing their own games.”
Alice smiled sweetly. “Unless, of course, you like playing their game. In that case, let’s see how long you last.”
And with that, the immortal trio laughed, the story of gods and their bad habits lingering in the air like the faint scent of incense—and a warning that no mortal or god should ignore.
🖋️✨📜🖤
