All the Waterfalls in 4EverMore Morph Into Cascades of Melted Chocolate! | The Immortal Gazette
Alice sat at her desk, legs propped up, swirling a cup of something questionably magical as she peered over the top of her glasses.
"Alright, my delightfully unhinged mortals, gather 'round, because today’s headline is one for the ages."
Rumplestiltskin groaned from his seat. "Please tell me this is a metaphor."
Loki, lounging like he owned the place, smirked. "Oh, no. It’s very literal, isn’t it?"
Alice grinned. "Indeed, it is. Every. Single. Waterfall. In. 4EverMore. Is now liquid chocolate. And let me tell you, this wasn’t just some happy little accident."
With an exaggerated flourish, she plopped a massive bowl of warm, melted chocolate onto the table, followed by a basket overflowing with freshly washed strawberries.
Rumple eyed it suspiciously. "Where did you even get that?"
Alice, already dipping a plump strawberry into the chocolate, took a slow, dramatic bite. "Rumple, darling, do not question the Queen of Madness when she is being generous."
Loki smirked, reaching over to take a strawberry. "Oh, I never question free food." He dipped his in the chocolate with concerning precision, then took a bite, raising an eyebrow in delight. "Alright. Not bad."
Alice shoved another chocolate-drenched strawberry toward Rumple. "Eat. It. You’re going to be grumpy anyway; might as well do it while eating something decadent."
Rumple sighed, snatched the strawberry, and took a reluctant bite. He chewed, his scowl softening—just a little. "...Fine. It’s good."
And just like that, the Immortal Gazette studio smelled like chocolate and chaos.
Alice leaned back, smug. "Of course it is. Now, let’s continue with today’s delicious disaster..."
It all started when the Witches of Westbrook decided to have their annual Feast of Enchantment—a perfectly normal celebration of magic, feasting, and very elaborate desserts.
Unfortunately, one enthusiastic witch named Magnolia may have gotten a little too creative with her spells.
"What if the rivers flowed with chocolate?" she had mused.
The problem? Magnolia’s spells have a habit of escalating.
Within minutes, the first waterfall—Crystal Veil Falls—turned into a cascading torrent of dark chocolate. And before anyone could blink, the enchantment spread like wildfire.
By the time I got here, every waterfall, river, and enchanted spring in 4EverMore was now an endless flood of melted chocolate.
Rumple stared at Alice. "Every waterfall? Even the cursed ones?"
Alice smirked. "Oh, especially the cursed ones. The Howling Abyss? Now a bottomless pit of molten fudge. The Whispering Rapids? Currently gurgling sweet, sugary nonsense."
Loki chuckled. "And what about the residents?"
Alice grinned. "Well, the Elves of Moonshade Hollow were outraged. Something about the ‘sacred balance of the rivers being tainted’—blah, blah, blah." She waved a dismissive hand. "Meanwhile, the Gypsies of the Enchanted Forest? Absolutely thriving. They’ve declared it the best thing that’s ever happened and are already selling enchanted marshmallows and strawberries for dipping."
Rumple groaned. "Of course they are."
Loki smirked. "And let me guess—Sonia and Seraphina were dragged into it?"
Alice laughed. "Oh, you know they were!"
Meanwhile...
Sonia Bloodthorn, Queen of Shadows and Flames, stood at the edge of what used to be the Sapphire Falls—now a thundering cascade of rich, impossibly smooth melted chocolate.
She crossed her arms. "This is Magnolia’s fault, isn’t it?"
Seraphina, flicking a bit of chocolate from her sleeve, sighed. "Of course it is."
Cordillera the ghost materialized out of nowhere, floating lazily above the chocolate river.
"Honestly, I don’t see the problem," she said, scooping up a handful and licking it. "Delicious."
Sonia pinched the bridge of her nose. "We cannot have chocolate rivers forever."
"Why not?" Cordillera shrugged. "People seem happy. The Gypsies are thriving. The witches are celebrating. The only ones complaining are the grumpy Elves."
Seraphina raised an eyebrow. "Oh, and the water nymphs. They’re currently having a meltdown because they can’t swim in it."
Sonia exhaled slowly. "Right. So we fix this before it turns into actual war over dessert."
Back at the Immortal Gazette Studio…
Rumple narrowed his eyes at Alice. "And how exactly did they fix it?"
Alice sipped her tea. "Oh, they haven’t yet. They’re still trying to find the right counter-spell. In the meantime, every castle moat is now basically fondue, the Dream Walkers are having chocolate-fueled prophetic visions, and someone’s pet dragon is refusing to leave the Caramelized Lagoon because it thinks it’s found paradise."
Loki leaned forward, resting his chin in his palm. "So, let me get this straight—while Sonia and Seraphina are trying to undo the chocolate apocalypse, the rest of 4EverMore is just… turning it into an impromptu dessert festival?"
Alice grinned, swirling her tea. "Exactly."
Rumple sighed. "Why am I even surprised?"
Alice smirked. "Oh, but wait, it gets better. The Gypsies of the Enchanted Forest? They showed up with buckets of peanut butter and started dyeing it all sorts of ridiculous colors. Now they’re selling these… what did they call them? ‘DIY Peanut Butter Cuppy Things’ - which are basically giant, gooey peanut butter cups made with actual enchanted chocolate from the waterfalls."
Loki snorted. "Naturally."
"And then," Alice continued, "some of the Elven princesses from the Moonshade Kingdom arrived, completely scandalized at first. But the second they realized they could make their own s’mores, Oh, they abandoned all their dignity. They had stacks of cinnamon graham crackers, enchanted marshmallows that toast themselves, and they were going to town." Alice laughed.
Rumple rubbed his temples. "The royal class is making homemade s’mores over cursed chocolate rivers. Fantastic."
"Oh, and speaking of marshmallows," Alice said, barely containing her glee, "the Dream Walkers figured out that if you toast one of these enchanted ones and eat it, you’ll get hyper-lucid dreams while your awake - some prophetic, some… well, downright bizarre."
Loki chuckled. "Let me guess. Someone saw the future of 4EverMore in a sugar-induced vision?"
Alice smirked. "Even better - one of them started screaming about a marshmallow uprising where they declared themselves the rightful rulers of 4EverMore."
Rumple groaned. "They have all gone mad."
Alice raised her teacup in mock toast. "And that, dear mortals, is why you should never, ever underestimate the power of dessert-based enchantments. Now, if you’ll excuse me - " she plucked a homemade peanut butter cuppy thing from a basket beside her, " I have an urgent appointment with chocolate and poor life choices."
Loki grinned. "Save me one."
Rumple scowled, but as Alice tossed a perfectly toasted s’more his way, he caught it midair with a sigh. "...Fine. But only because I have to document the madness properly."
Alice smirked. "Of course you do."
And with that, the Immortal Gazette studio was filled with the sound of crackling parchment, biting sarcasm, and the unmistakable hum of a world that thrived on chaos, magic, and entirely too much sugar.
Alice lifted her cup. "And that, my dear mortals, is your latest dose of magical mayhem and accidental confectionery catastrophes from The Immortal Gazette!"
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